What do you do when someone acknowledges your good work? Are you able to accept it or do you find your Inner Critic raises its ugly head?
Do you stridently say, “Thank you, I thought so too!”
What about, “Thank you, I did my best!”
Perhaps, “Geez, thanks! It’s a small miracle!”
Or “Aw it’s nothing really!”
Although I’ve learned to say, “Thanks so much; that means a lot!” a part of me thinks “Holy sh!t! They liked what I did! How am I ever going to repeat that?” And at a subconscious level, my recorded tapes say “Now I’ve got to prove I really deserved that compliment!
Does this sound familiar to any of you?
You work hard, get the job done well, receive acknowledgment, then fumble with accepting the credit you deserve. Worse yet, the Inner Critic raises its ugly head to tell you that the acknowledgement requires you to do more and try harder?
Who taught us this deeply flawed thinking?
Where does that cruel inner critic come from?
Why is this perfectionist voice telling us lies about our self worth?
The answers go deep and wide crossing nature, nurture and culture.
Recently, my Inner Critic once again caught me off guard and kicked my butt! I was given accolades from a professional story analyst for the first piece I have ever submitted. Reading the reviewer’s generous words brought on tears of gratitude.
Then, after thanking her, I promptly kicked into high gear writing more and working harder. For me, that meant adding an additional hour or two. It took only a couple days for my illness to catch up with me. My systems crashed; my speech started slipping, I couldn’t think my way out of a paper bag, and I was bone-tired. Very quickly, I found myself in tears again, this time asking myself “why am I doing this?”
Unfortunately, I realized I was trying to prove myself worthy of the accolades even though I had already done the work. So, I stopped everything. I reassured my insecure Inner Child that, of course, I am worthy. And I rested. I turned to restoring the delicate balance that allows me to feel like I am contributing to the world without causing my health to fall apart.
Two weeks later, I am still feeling the consequences, but am grateful to be back in alignment with my Inner Wisdom that reminds me:
You are enough! Now. Always.
You are inherently worthy! Period.
We all are!
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, especially that Inner Critic.
Treat yourself like you would your best friend; be kind, patient and generous. Listen closely to what you are telling yourself. Challenge the toxic and mean message. When the Inner Critic raises its ugly head, stop and take a breathe. Acknowledge, forgive and redirect the voice. Talk to it like the anxious child it is. And definitely double down on the self love!
May it be so!
